


It's hot to feel the rush

by Januarium



Series: we know we both belong tonight [1]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anonymous Sex, Dirty Talk, Face-Fucking, First Time Blow Jobs, Glory Hole, M/M, Patrick Brewer is Thirsty, Patrick Brewer is a Cockslut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Propaganda on behalf of the Canadian government, Semi-Public Sex, Slut Shaming, but not in a really shamey way y'know?, they may not appreciate me saying that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25631146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Januarium/pseuds/Januarium
Summary: “Oh,” says the voice, surprised. “Is it really that hard to find a dick to suck around here, or are you just that into the whole anonymous angle?”Patrick can’t help but laugh. “Honestly?” He says, still disguising his voice a little, which is stupid because he would absolutely remember if he’d ever met someone that sounded like the other man before. “I just didn’t want to have to talk to someone about it.”There’s a little laugh and Patrick can’t help but feel a little smug; he loves making people laugh.“I can understand that. I have more than once wondered if I could get a hookup to answer the door already wearing a ball gag and convince them that’s my kink.”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: we know we both belong tonight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883728
Comments: 76
Kudos: 263





	It's hot to feel the rush

**Author's Note:**

> This inspired by [the BC Govt agency that recommended use of glory holes](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/qj4wwv/this-government-agency-wants-you-to-use-glory-holes), though it is set in the Before Times. There's only one first so far in the fandom tagged "glory holes" so I figured it was my duty to add to this? Or something? I don't know, I didn't actually mean to write this, it just happened.
> 
> Unbeta'd, if you notice the typos I surely missed let me know. This is id porn, not an attempt as realism.

It’s the point at which Patrick finds himself unable to concentrate at work because he can’t stop imagining—in detail—what it would be like to suck a cock, that he decides enough is enough.

The issue is, everything about hook up culture is weird and intimidating, let alone _gay_ hook up culture. He’s tried Grindr and two minutes of talking to any of the guys who had messaged him had killed any desire to have sex with them. He doesn’t think he was ready for meeting someone, even in a way clearly defined as purely for sex, and having to figure out how to act, talk, behave.

If he’s being entirely honest with himself, what he really wants is a disembodied cock to shove down his throat. A real one, not the “realistic” dildo he’s been practising with, covered in a condom so he can get used to the taste for when he does it for real. He’s not good enough at yoga to manage reaching his own cock, though he’s definitely tried.

Which is how he ends up opening an incognito browsing tab on his office computer and googling “glory holes”. He’s surprised how much useful information he finds among the porn (which he will absolutely be re-visiting outside of work hours). He tries to convince himself he isn’t really going to do it, it’s just a fun fantasy to indulge in, but that night he can’t help but go back and dive deeper into the sites. There are ones that give information about specific places to go, talk about what they’re like.

There’s one an hour or so away at a truck stop. People say it’s pretty safe. He knows by the time he goes to sleep that night that he’s going to try it. Soon.

-

Once he’s in the stall he isn’t sure what to do. He kind of... stands around considering how much of an intensely stupid idea this whole thing is until he hears someone coming in and going into the other stall.

Patrick feels a jolt of arousal at the thought it’s going to happen, which allows him to steel himself and say, “Hey.” His voice comes out kind of gruff and he feels so stupid. Wasn’t the point of this supposed to be not worrying about what to say?

“Um, what?” Comes a somewhat high and annoyed voice. Patrick doesn’t have time to think of a response before the voice continues, “Holy _fuck_ , is that a glory hole?”

Fuck-fuck-fuck. “Fuck, I don’t— _fuck_ ,” is all he can think to say, brain spiralling. He wants to get out and run, but the idea the other guy might follow and _see him_ is awful.

“Oh my god, I’ve never actually seen one before! A truck stop with a glory hole, how delightfully _rural_.” The guy’s voice is musical and expressive and he sounds like he actually finds the idea quaint which is... bizarre.

“I’m seriously sorry, please just do your business, I’ll leave.”

“Do my busi—you seriously think I’m going to _shit_ in a gross truck stop bathroom?”

“Uh… I mean, if you’re not here for the glory hole and you aren’t here for that…” Patrick has no idea why he’s arguing about this.

“Ugh, my car broke down and the heater won’t turn off, but there’s no one out there and it was creepy so I thought I’d wait here until my ride comes, where there’s a lock but I won’t melt to death .”

“Oh… sorry.”

“Well, if you thought I was going to suck your cock, sorry, but maybe the next person can help you?”

Patrick should just leave, or maybe point out that there won’t be a next person if this guy is waiting it out here, but he’s surprised enough by that response that he accidentally mumbles out, “That’s not what I was after.”

“Pardon?”

Patrick isn’t sure he can remember the last time he heard someone use the word ‘pardon’ in real life.

Because this whole thing has been a bust, but he still wants to get something out of it and this man seems like a remarkably non-judgemental person on which to practice saying something like this, Patrick replies: “I was actually hoping to suck _your_ cock. Or well, not yours specifically, but—” he forces himself to stop rambling. He did it. He has told someone, a total stranger, that he wants to give a blowjob and the ceiling didn’t fall down. He may have made him voice a bit lower than usual on purpose this time, but still.

“Oh,” says the voice, surprised. “Is it really that hard to find a dick to suck around here, or are you just that into the whole anonymous angle?”

Patrick can’t help but laugh. “Honestly?” He says, still disguising his voice a little, which is stupid because he would absolutely remember if he’d ever met someone that sounded like the other man before. “I just didn’t want to have to talk to someone about it.”

There’s a little laugh and Patrick can’t help but feel a little smug; he loves making people laugh.

“I can understand that. I have more than once wondered if I could get a hookup to answer the door already wearing a ball gag and convince them that’s my kink.”

Patrick snorts out a laugh so hard he has to learn against the wall of the stall to catch his breath. “My real problem is, all the guys I talk to on Grindr make me lose any desire to have sex with them before we can actually schedule anything anyway.”

The guy laughs, “You really need to work on your ability to ignore what someone’s saying and focus on whether they have a nice cock.”

“Is that what you do?” Patrick cannot believe he came here for some anonymous sex and instead he’s having a conversation about it. It was exactly what he’d wanted to avoid and yet he has to admit he’s enjoying this.

“Hmm,” the guy says, thoughtfully. “I’m actually trying to be a bit more mindful about who I _connect_ with, lately. Not that I judge you!”

He sounds so worried about the idea of sounding judgemental in a situation where it would be perfectly normal to judge, it’s strangely charming. “That’s okay, I judge me a little, I just...” he tries to think how to say it. Fuck in, in for a penny. “I don’t actually want to _connect_ with somebody, I just can’t wait to finally get my mouth on a dick.”

He’s pretty sure he hears something like a gasp. “You’ve never given a blow job before?”

“Only in my mind. Kind of took me a few years to figure myself out.”

“I’m, um, sure you could find someone special for your first time, though?” He sounds incredibly awkward saying that, in a way he didn’t with words much more explicit, which almost makes Patrick laugh.

“I probably could, but I had to jerk off on my lunch break yesterday because I couldn’t stop imagine getting my tongue around the head of a cock; seeing it dripping pre-come and knowing that’s happening for me.” Patrick... didn’t mean to say that much, and is glad the fake-deeper-voice is coming automatically now because, wow, apparently he has no filter in this situation.

“Oh.” It’s just a syllable, and this may be wishful thinking, but Patrick can’t help but think that maybe it sounded turned on. _Huh_.

“Yeah, I’ve practiced on a dildo but I want the real thing, you know?” He’s definitely pushing it now, but—

“Mmhm, I do know.” There is definitely something there and it doesn’t sound like discomfort or embarrassment.

“I can’t even get through a conversation lately because I just keep imagining getting on my knees and having a hard dick shoved down my throat.”

“Oh, _fuck_.” The guy is definitely turned on.

Part of Patrick wants to push it more, but a bigger part of him is now incredibly horny and hopeful and wants to find out now if he has a chance. “Would you be interested in helping me?” He does his best to sound low and sexy and inviting, crossing his fingers because it’s not like anybody can see him.

“Helping you?” That needy tone is still threading through the man’s voice.

“Yup,” Patrick replies, popping the ‘p’ sound hard. “You could just use this convenient hole they’ve installed and let me finally get my mouth on a dick.”

“Um, I don’t, um.”

He sounds nervous in a way that makes Patrick suddenly realise what he’s doing. “Oh god, sorry, please pretend I never said that, I—”

“Stop talking.”

Patrick stops talking. He’s not sure whether he should leave, or if he should wait for the guy to leave first, but then the guy continues speaking.

“I’m not actually opposed to the idea,” he says, in a voice that sounds like it’s putting a lot of effort into sounding unaffected. Patrick’s arousal, banked by thinking he’d fucked up, roars back to life. “It’s just... it’s kind of a big risk? And um...” he sounds sheepish. “The hole is probably dirty.”

“I did bring condoms,” Patrick says. He feels maybe more embarrassed than he has this whole time when he adds, “and a pack of anti-bacterial wipes?”

He guy laughs and yeah, Patrick really likes that sound. “Oh my god, you brought _cleaning products_ to a glory hole?”

He sounds impressed as much as amused and Patrick relaxes. “Like you said, it’s probably dirty.” He doesn’t know if anything is actually going to happen at this point, but he feels strangely like it’s already a success.

“Show me the wipes.”

Oh, wow, okay maybe Patrick is actually _very_ invested in this happening because the indication that maybe it could sets his heart racing triple-time. He fumbles a little as he slides the packet along the floor under the stall. He’s trying not to look, but he catches a glimpse of some intense black boots.

“Are you interested?” He asks, because he has to say something.

“I’m considering it,” the voice says, more composed that it had been. “You do sound _awfully_ desperate.”

“Oh, fuck.” Patrick has to give his cock a squeeze to his cock through his jeans at that, because never in his life has someone said something that turned him on this hard and fast.

“Was that too far?” The voice asks, and Patrick can hear the sounds of the packet of wipes being opened.

“Definitely not.”

“Hmm, what if I said all you want is a chance to be a cockslut?”

“Yes, please,” is all Patrick can manage in response. His knees feel weak, like they just want him to collapse so he’s ready for what seems like it might actually happen.

The man chuckles and _fuck_ , every sound he makes is so sexy it’s ridiculous. “Hand me a condom.”

Patrick nearly squeaks in response, because oh, wow. He passes a condom through the hole. The man plucks it from his fingers without their skin touching.

“This’ll do,” the guy says and then Patrick can hear and see a wipe being used on the hole in the stall wall. He’s very thorough, and then comes back with a second and Patrick spots some silver rings on his (long, gorgeous) fingers and feels almost lightheaded with lust.

He wants to speak but suddenly all the nerves about not knowing what to say in this situation are rushing back in.

Luckily, the other man speaks. “You sure you want to suck my cock?”

“Yes, please,” Patrick says again and he feels kind of pathetic for how he’s gone from describing what he wants to almost wordless with desperation so quickly, but he also loves it.

“Here is how this is going to go.” His voice has a new edge of steel to it that makes Patrick squirm. “I am going to put on this condom and get into position. You will kneel down and suck my cock; no teeth because appropriate use of teeth in a blow job is _not_ an amateur level move. Once I have come you will stand up, so you can’t look through the hole. Does that work for you?”

“Absolutely,” Patrick replies, sounding every bit as desperate as he is, except... “Could you talk to me? While I do it?”

“I thought the whole reason you were here was that you wanted to do this without talking.”

“That was before I heard you.” It feels like a bold thing to say, but hopefully not so bold it scares the guy off when Patrick’s _so close_ to getting what he’s been craving.

“You want me to tell you how to do it?”

“Um, if that’s on the table I wouldn’t say no, but I more meant, like, you know… What you said before.”

“You want me to call you a desperate cockslut?” He says it so matter-of-factly and _god_ if Patrick touched himself at all right now he could come before they even do anything.

“Yes, that,” he manages to get out.

“Hmm. I think if you want me to say any more of that I’m going to need you to ask me properly.”

Patrick breathes deeply and tries to channel all his need into actually saying this. “I want you to call me a desperate cockslut while I suck you off through a glory hole.”

The man moans and that is… wow. Patrick finds it hard to believe this is his real life.

“Is there anything you don’t want me to say?” The guy asks, which is oddly considerate.

Patrick thinks about and his mind is too foggy with lust to really come up with something that he doesn’t like the sound of. “I don’t think so?”

“Hmm, well if I go too far, please just stop and tell me?” He sounds sincere in a way that makes Patrick feel surprisingly tender in the midst of the arousal sparking through his body.

“I promise,” he says, doing his best to project certainty into his words.

“You want to help me finish getting hard by telling me more about those fantasies of yours? I’m nearly there, but I really liked that.”

It feels like his whole body is sensitised at this point, every word the man says making him buzz. “I like to think of getting to take my time with a cock. Letting my mouth get so wet and fucked out that I can’t help but drool and I won’t even care because it feels so _good_.” Patrick has barely even managed to think that while jerking off and here he is just saying it. He undoes his belt and opens his jeans, because he’s going to need to touch himself while this happens.

He can hear the sound of the condom packet opening and groans. “Yes, please, I want your cock,” god, what is he even saying?

“You’re so thirsty, _fuck_ ,” the guy says and Patrick gets his dick out and squeezes the base, trying to pull back from the edge he’s already on.

“I’m so thirsty for your cock,” are the words that come out of Patrick’s mouth and he feels kind of like he’s on stage for a performance with someone else’s words in his mouth, except it’s the most real thing he’s ever experienced.

Then it’s happening; Patrick stares as a condom-sheathed cock moves through the hole. It’s circumcised and thicker than his own; long enough it should be an effort to get down his throat, even with the barrier between them (which is something he has worried about, when he’s let himself really consider doing this).

There’s a silence as Patrick stares and a vaguely awkward throat clearing noise comes through and snaps him into action.

“Can I get on my knees, now?” He asks. He’s not trying to make it a sexy question, he’s just focused on trying to play by the rules this guy has set, but the guy groans before he responds and it makes Patrick feel confident.

“Yes.”

It’s a simple response, but Patrick will absolutely take it. He gets to his knees and lifts his hand to the cock in front of his face— _god_ , his mouth is watering—before he pauses to ask, “May I touch you?”

Another quiet groan. “Go ahead.”

Patrick uses his hand first; he gives the cock a stroke, learning the shape of it, swiping his thumb over the head. Even with the condom he can feel how warm it is, can feel the prominent vein that runs down it. He strokes again and he can see a drop of pre-come at the tip. He leans in and licks the head; even tasting latex it’s the sexiest he has ever felt in his life and he lets out a little whine.

The guy groans in response. “Was that your tongue?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Lick me, get me all wet.”

Patrick moans and holds the cock in place so he can lick all down the shaft. He lets moisture pool on his tongue and wraps it around as he moves back up, hoping the guy can tell how sloppy and wet he’s being. He strokes with his hand again while he finally sucks on the head. It’s almost dizzying to be doing this in real life; it’s so intensely different to sucking a sex toy. When he sucks, the dick twitches and he can feel it in his hand and his mouth; this is a real man who he’s giving pleasure to.

“Fuck, that feels good, keep going.”

Patrick relaxes his jaw and covers his teeth more firmly as he slides his mouth down until it reaches his fist and _sucks_.

“You’re a fucking natural,” the guy groans out and Patrick loves the way he can feel his own moan vibrating through the cock in his mouth. He gets into a rhythm, trying to coordinate moving his hand and his mouth in a way that is so much harder when he’s impossibly turned on from doing this to an actual human body.

“I bet you love this,” the man says. “You finally get to be the little cockslut you’ve been dying to be.”

Patrick moans loudly and hopes that’s answer enough. He wants to say _Yes, yes, yes_ but not enough to stop. He has to squeeze hard again with the hand that hasn’t left the base of his own cock. It’s hard to remember to breath through his nose with so many sensations, but he has to because he doesn’t want to go a second without this guy’s dick in his mouth.

“I can feel how desperate that sloppy mouth is,” the guy says, as Patrick keeps up his rhythm. “You want to show off how good you can be.”

That’s too much, Patrick has to pull off to catch his breath and groan.

“You like me telling you how good you are?” He guy asks. His voice has gone intense, thick with arousal.

“Please,” is all he can reply; a deep part of him is embarrassed, but mostly he feels like he’s floating, like he’s just a body trying to make another body feel good and nothing else matters.

“You’re doing so well sucking my cock, honey.” The endearment is a surprise, but it’s not like the guy knows his name and it’s… sweet.

“Thank you,” Patrick replies and moves back to suckle the head again. He wants to get his bearings before he tries to go deeper.

The mans hums a note of pleasure, which might be Patrick’s favourite noise from him yet. Patrick takes it as a sign, sliding down the cock and keeping his throat relaxed as he removes his fist and keeps going further than before. He swallows, just to feel how his throat moves around this stranger’s dick. He doesn’t manage to get all the way this time before he feels a tickle in his throat and has to move back.

“Fuck, your mouth was made to take a cock,” the man says, spurring Patrick to try again. He is more familiar now with how his throat opens for this dick, so he manages to get all the way down, until his nose is pressed against the stall wall above the hole. He’s drooling and his eyes are watering and this is all he ever wants. The guy thrusts a little and it’s incredible, but then he’s pulling back.

“Oh god, sorry,” he says and Patrick is dazed enough to not understand.

“Why did you stop?”

“I was trying not to thrust, sorry, fuck.”

Patrick blinks himself to be able to actually form words. “But it was so hot,” is what he manages.

“We didn’t discuss face-fucking.”

 _Oh_. Oh, yeah, that’s what that was, just a little. For some reason, face-fucking has never been such a major part of Patrick’s cock-sucking fantasies, but it absolutely will be now. “Please fuck my mouth, I want it.” It takes no effort at all to say, but it still feels novel and amazing to be so honest.

The guy moans, the sound high and reedy and gorgeous. “Okay, okay, _fuck_ ,” he says, and then his dick is back through the hole. “Just pull off it’s too much.”

“I will,” Patrick says, before diving back in with his mouth open.

The guy starts slow, and Patrick follows his movements until he’s in position as those little thrusts get deeper and deeper. It’s amazing, somehow, all the different things he was worried about concentrating on fade away and he just needs to focus on the sensation, on being open and ready.

The guy starts grunting and Patrick can’t resist any longer and strokes his own cock properly, to the rhythm of the guy thrusting into his face. It takes almost nothing before he’s coming over his hand and the stall wall in front of him, but that barely matters. What matters is the way he’s being used, the way his throat and jaw ache, the sounds this man breathes out each time he goes deep.

“ _Fuck _,”__ is all the warning he gets before the guy is thrusting hard and stopping. Knowing this man is coming into his mouth makes Patrick’s cock twitch and drool when he thought he was done coming.

Patrick moves his mouth off, using one hand to stroke the guy through the aftershocks so he can see the come filling the tip of the condom. He lifts his other hand up and licks it clean, imagining it’s not his own come he’s tasting, but this stranger’s.

“Um, you should get up,” the guy says, and Patrick remembers the situation, that this guy was worried enough about him looking through the hole he didn’t want Patrick kneeling there without something through it. Patrick feels a little silly, but he can’t resist giving a gentle kiss to the head of the man’s life-changing dick before he heaves himself up to standing.

He feels a bit like he’s high or drunk, a looseness through his body and brain beyond the usual post-orgasm laziness. He leans back against the wall opposite the hole and luxuriates in it. “Thank you,” he eventually says.

The guy laughs, “I’m pretty sure I should be thanking you here.”

Patrick smiles, “So I did okay?”

The man snorts. “Fishing for compliments isn’t a good look; you know you were great.”

Warmth spreads through Patrick, the snark somehow making it feel that much more real. “Well, you might have just been saying that stuff because I asked you to.”

There’s a soft laugh, along with the noises of the man getting himself back together that make Patrick think he should do the same.

“Fine. That was an wonderful blow job, well done.”

Patrick knows he has a giddy grin and feels no need to hold it back. “Well, congratulations on your excellent dick, it was an honour to suck it.” He feels somewhat ridiculous, but the man laughs, which is exactly what he was after.

Patrick is feeling pumped up and brave enough to consider maybe asking the guy if he wants to do this again, when the noise of a pop song rings out.

“Fuck, that’s my ride,” the guy says and suddenly Patrick can hear the other stall opening. “Thanks, ciao!” The man says as he rushes right out of the bathroom.

Ah well, Patrick thinks and starts cleaning up properly. He enjoyed chatting to the guy, but he’s okay with not doing it again. He’s been able to settle something within himself. He really loved what he just did, but he’s also just glad to have done it and maybe now the idea of actually having to _talk_ to someone isn’t the worst thing in the world.

He leaves a bit of time before heading out so he won’t run into the other man, who definitely won’t want Patrick seeing who he is. He feels a strange moment of melancholy when he does finish washing and drying his hands and leaves. He doesn’t expect to be back here, the edge of desperation is sated and surely no future encounter could live up to this one?

He walks out of the bathroom feeling like a new version of himself: he’s a gay man who has given a blow job to a stranger and the world didn’t collapse. He feels good about making this choice to do something he never would have thought he would do.

Plus, now maybe he’ll be able to focus enough at work to actually listen when Ray tells him about what appointments he has coming up. When he goes home he should probably check, because he can’t remember anything about what he’s doing tomorrow, except that maybe one appointment has something to do with the general store? For now though, he sings along with the radio as he drives home.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Lady Gaga's Edge of Glory, because duh
> 
> I'm also on [tumblr](https://januarium.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] It's hot to feel the rush](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26103019) by [yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau)




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